reddit adoption regret

Obviously it happens, but perhaps no more than it happens with bio children. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm adopted. We were placed with a child whose health was good at birth but who had been abandoned. I tend to agree, though that's certainly not the subreddit's concensus. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} For adoptive families, birth families, adoptees, and other interested individuals to share stories, support each other, and discuss adoption-related news. Sources: BabyGaga, The Guardian, Dialy Mail, Adoption Institute Adoption was brought to me and here we stand today. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, this was one of the most compassionate, insightful exchanges. I've wanted a pet cat for most of my life and I finally had the opportunity to adopt a 1 year old cat yesterday. But that's a level of nuance that online communities struggle with, and if anything, I feel we do better than most here. involved in access-to-records activism This article previously ran on the blog Portrait of an Adoption as part of the series “30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days” in honor of National Adoption Month. I'm sorry for your experience. I’m in desperate need of some help. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextShaded80);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextShaded80)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);cursor:not-allowed;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO{display:inline-block}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} Many adoptees are deeply hurt, though. ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%}.isNotInButtons2020 ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{font-size:14px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:32px;text-transform:uppercase} ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:bottom}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} I think it’s hard to judge who speaks up & why, or the actual numbers on happy vs unhappy (or just complicated, nuanced!) "The couple, from Cromer, won a landmark legal case last June to keep their fourth child, Brandon, after false allegations of child abuse meant their first three children were taken away in 2004. He is with his parents who can give him the world. (I hadn't realized I committed such a serious crime...twice!). Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. GENEVA (AFP, REUTERS) - Swiss authorities voiced deep regret on Monday (Dec 14) for failing to prevent adoptions from Sri Lanka for two decades despite indications of … ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:12px;padding-top:12px}._3AOoBdXa2QKVKqIEmG7Vkb{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);border-radius:4px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;margin-top:12px}.vzEDg-tM8ZDpEfJnbaJuU{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:14px;width:14px}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._2ygXHcy_x6RG74BMk0UKkN{margin-left:8px}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._3BmRwhm18nr4GmDhkoSgtb{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto;line-height:16px} I'm not convinced it's gonna happen to me. We welcome anyone from any aspect of an adoption to comment and contribute, but a community for adoptees is our goal. I get that a lot of folks got adopted by people who had their own vanity in mind when they adopted a child, but at least they were there. Q. Regretting Adoption: I was told as a teenager that I could never carry a baby to term, so my husband and I immediately started the process of adoption as soon as we married. It's just very odd. Unless my kids do something bad like not take care of their children, support themselves, or do something illegal, I'm never disappointed in them. :(, How’d you connect with your culture more in a way that didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward? While I don’t want to minimize trauma people have experienced, it can also be disheartening when questions are asked in this sub and some people use it as an opportunity to retaliate against their own situation. Close. I actually think we should be educated that it is fine not to have kids (society seems to dictate to us that in order to live full lives we must be parents - in my opinion that is bullshit). I know adoption regret is not uncommon but when i've read about it a lot of people were saying that it went away after a bit and that things turned out fine. Previous to my experience, movies like this are what I based my vision of adoption on. It seems like your adoptive parents set themselves up for that disappointment. Thank you for posting this. You can have doubts and may even decide that adoption is not the right choice for you or that the timing is off. I've been so afraid for her reading on this board. They just had unrealistic expectations about adoption, likely because of the attitudes of the era they grew up in. 0. Period. I'm only 22 years old and sometimes, I really regret it. A mum has admitted she regrets the name she gave to her adopted daughter and wishes she had called her something else, but isn't sure what to do about it I'll preface this by saying I only adopted my dog Buddy 3 days ago. It's understandable why she regrets it, but she should remember that she did the right thing. I've thing to remember is that you're more likely to speak up or write if you've got a complaint. Less and less every day though. If you wake up every day regretting your adoption then you are not the best parent to parent that child Something I wouldn’t have been able to do on my own. I've also found it weird that there is a lot of anger here towards the adoptive parents, but none towards the birth parents who couldn't/wouldn't raise their child. My mom thought that she needed a friend. BTW - we said we would accept a child of any background of any medical needs so long as they had a good chance of living independently as adults. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I would describe myself as having a good relationship with my APs, that being said I am horrified by some of the stories some adoptees have posted here and on other groups. Surprisingly after the adoption and during the vet visit, I was informed he is FIV+ and is presenting AIDS symptoms and signs (eye and nose viral infections, anemia, leukopenia weight loss). People are more likely to post if they have negative experiences and this subreddit is a little hostile towards people who have had good experiences. I'm mildly allergic, but haven't experienced many symptoms since bringing my new friend home. People are more likely to post if they have negative experiences and this subreddit is a little hostile towards people who have had good experiences. Maybe even the birth mother would be happy to have her child back. Or is the feeling almost universally a sense that this is your child and you would do anything for them no matter what they need? Swiss express regret over illegal adoptions from Sri Lanka Dec. 14, 2020 Updated: Dec. 14, 2020 7 a.m. Facebook Twitter Email LinkedIn Reddit Pinterest And his parents are two of the most God-like, loving people I have ever had the honor of knowing. Derek is an amazing, magical, smart, funny, brave, compassionate and loving kid! We very well may face challenging situations ahead related to adoption as the kids mature but so far it has been a beautiful experience all around. I grew up in the same situation as you and I’m having really tough times with my identity because of the culture I was raised in. "Adoptive parents can never love an adopted child like a biological child" is also garbage. This sub has virtually never been hostile to me for my positive experience, even before I was a moderator. The vet said not to wash him but once a month because I told him that I wanted to bathe him at least twice a month. considering surrendering a child. I understand that a number people who would be speak out are those who have something to say, but it’s a bit discouraging to see some of the stories here. ._3Im6OD67aKo33nql4FpSp_{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBorderColor);border-radius:5px 5px 4px 4px;overflow:visible;word-wrap:break-word;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);padding:12px}.lnK0-OzG7nLFydTWuXGcY{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIcon)} If you regret placing your child because you were forced to place, you will need a much different plan of action than if you chose to place and are having a hard time being separated from your child. I don’t want this to sound rude, but as I’ve scrolled in this sub I’ve always felt like the majority of adoptees dislike their adoptive families. We therefore have no family historical information for her. I also know a few people my age who are adopted (30-40). .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. In the meantime, this was one of the most compassionate, insightful exchanges I’ve seen on this sub in my four-ish years here. If you regret having placed your child for adoption, I think your subsequent actions heavily depend on what your initial intent for placement was. I don't regret it, but having depression and anxiety, I sometimes can get a little emotional about it. Sometimes an adoption does not work out. He may have FAS, he may have a genetic problem, I dont know know what his future holds and I dont care. I'm also adopted, domestic infant adoptee, now 29M. Neither of us was special needs, etc. Our parents regret it; they once told someone they wouldn't do it over again. But I also feel like there is a lot more good out there than is being reflected in this sub. there are days where my kids drive me up the wall (bio and adopted) and I wish I was by myself sitting in a hammock on the beach, but that's just parenting, not adoption. I have 4 birth children who I raised myself. Everyone is always telling me to reconnect or immerse myself back into my people’s culture but it seems so hard when you’re a TRA. I know every situation can be different, but how do you feel your experience could have been different? I'm not looking for horror stories of bad adoptions, just opinions on whether 'buyer's remorse' happens with adoption (sorry for the inappropriate term), or reassurance that the capacity to accept a child into your home and love them unconditionally is stronger than the fear of not being strong enough. Those that are happy probably don't post here. It's in their job description. I have a 5 year old daughter from my first marriage with whom I have an open adoption. I’ve come to realize there are a lot of mental health concerns and considerations surrounding adoption, but I don’t want to be a burden to a child. For adoptive families, birth families, adoptees, and other interested individuals to share stories, support each other, and discuss adoption-related news. I write pro-adoption articles, I attend weekly support meetings for birth parents, and I often speak in public schools about the miracle of adoption. I can't imagine ever looking back and saying "I should never have checked the box to say I would take a baby with X, that was a bad call". I'm not really sure what i'm trying to get out of posting this here. Doesn’t cry, uses the litter box, cuddles and sleeps with me, an all around great cat. P.s. I dont regret how my life has turned out even though I regret giving Zak up. They wanted a kid like them and turned out disappointed that raising an Asian kid as white didn’t turn me white. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;padding:0;width:100%}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}.isInButtons2020 ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}.isInButtons2020 ._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed} He never sees them as they are - just as he wishes them to be. So I am mixed Japanese-American and have considered the grueling process of adopting a child From Japan. So the state would put her up for adoption. He has missing teeth and poor skin with an immense body odor. I also know a few people my age who are adopted (30-40). If I adopted a child from Japan I have a lot of experience with the culture, but being from the US I don’t practice Shinto. In actuality, what I have is more realistic in the realm of teenager adoption than what they portray. I just adopted an adult cat (3-5 y/o) and am a first time cat owner. Thanks for the heartfelt sharing. I did this because I want a family. Others we know who have adopted or are adopted have similar feelings. I was sick to my stomach the first 2 weeks because I loved him as soon as he was placed in my arms and the thought of letting him go was excruciating. Kids do drive you insane. I think some people (even adoptive couples) are not suited to be parents. There are many fights between himself and the now almost-grown kids because of his weird head cannon. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.361933014be843c79476.css.map*/never an option. I do as well, but I know plenty of adoptees who don't. I have just always wanted kids. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} I think they'd get stronger. My wife and I are in the home study process now and are looking to adopt an infant. Not to mention I see many happy adoptees here as well, and I’d hate to see them undercounted or unrecognized! ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} A parent sent their toddler in wearing a pretty white dress and screamed at us when it got to home time and the dress was no longer a pristine white. They just had unrealistic expectations about adoption, likely because of the attitudes of the era they grew up in. Designed to give a voice to the many different perspectives of adoption, this series features posts by adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, waiting adoptive parents, and foster parents-turned-adoptive parents. I worried a lot about attachment to my child before she was placed with us. For the record I'm also an adoptee. I’m especially grateful when people with difficult adoptive experiences share their struggles, so we can support one another + hopefully other adoptive-families can learn from those experiences; and equally when people with happier adoptive experience share what worked for them and their family. Those who regret becoming parents will often confuse this with regretting adopting/getting pregnant. We are debating whether we would be willing to take a high risk baby such as one whose birth mother used drugs during pregnancy or has hereditary disabilities. All of us have good relationships with our parents. He was a cat with lots of opinions, who knew how to irritate his humans. I have a better relationship with my parents than my wife does with hers, though, and she's not adopted. My question is, have any adoptive families regretted the decision to adopt or felt that they got the wrong child? Side note, I worked in a nursery for a bit. searching for your biological family. I feel horrible that I feel that way." I don't feel strong enough to volunteer to take a child that has serious illnesses or disabilities, but I also know my heart. 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